MORE MODERN DUMBISMS

            Back when I first wrote my essay, "Itching-Powder Expressions," I promised to provide more absurd modern "dumbisms" (my own coined term for seemingly deliberately-stupid expressions) at some subsequent time. Although it has taken me far longer than expected to do so, here is a plethora of them.

            In recent years, most mindless new expressions seem to originate from television drama series. Here, then, in no particular order, are the most irritating ones.

            "At the end of the day." Whenever I hear that one, I mutter, "Oh? What about the beginning of the day? Or the middle of the day?" We've long since had a perfectly marvelous expression for what that current idiocy is trying to convey: "In the final analysis," or "Ultimately." Both are far more intelligent options.

            "You've got this." Sigh! "You can do it" or "You can handle it" is the perfectly normal alternative.

            "Let's do this." After this inanity, I yell at the TV, "Oh, let's not!" How about the traditional "Let's go" or "Come on."

            "That's on you." I invariably retort, "No, it isn't on you! 'It's your fault' or 'It's your responsibility'." Generally, "It's on you" means that you will be the one paying, as in "The drinks are on you."

            Now, let's get really dumb: "Do you have eyes on the suspect?" I yell back, "No, it isn't necessary: the suspect already has his own eyes...or ears...or whatever." How about a plain simple "Do you see the suspect?"

            "Yeah, no." The glaring indecisiveness of that milquetoast response by actors over a multitude of shows is evidence of wishy-washy thinking, if indeed any thinking is taking place at all.

            "24/7." Ugh! "All the time" or "Always" or the emphatic "Every minute of every day" is far less flippant.

            "Think outside the box." Spare me! You're just trying to say "Think creatively."